A skittery, erratic attempt at a weblog. Rambles will be indulged and depths will be plumbed. Who knows what I'll come up with?
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| Fragments A skittery, erratic attempt at a weblog. Rambles will be indulged and depths will be plumbed. Who knows what I'll come up with? |
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Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Weather: And how quickly it goes from "bloody hell, where's summer?" to "TOO DAMN HOT!!" Listening to:99.9 Not doing:lunchmaking Culture clash Is it bad if I'm folding the used pages from my one-a-day Yoga Philosophy calendar into origami butterflies with the intention of hanging them on next year's Christmas tree? posted by susan | 10:56 PM Sunday, June 15, 2003 Weather:warm -- SUMMER!! Listening to: vintage Annie Lennox, "No More I Love Yous" Not doing:Meducator research again Things learned during my first week at work: -Don't wear white. -Barney Singalong! is the soundtrack to hell. -The Great Gatsby is not good subway reading. -The Portugese word for strawberry is morangos. -Elementary school washrooms are much more disgusting once you've been away from them for awhile. -Sure, it's supposed to be the ocean, but that's no reason not to put red food coloring in the water play table. -Kids love glue. No two ways about it. -Circle Time is a sanctioned headache. -Under no circumstances should you name your child Fifi. posted by susan | 1:08 AM Thursday, June 05, 2003 Weather: raining Listening to: the breath of my laptop Not doing: much of anything There are nights, and then there are nights. This is one of the latter. I can't get myself to shut up tonight, and it is SO ANNOYING. I don’t know where these things come from. Sometimes I berate myself for screwing up, losing things, losing people, making mistaken judgements about what I'd miss and what I wouldn't. Or for not screwing up enough, not daring to make mistakes enough, weaving in tan and beige instead of vermillion. Or I wonder at how easy it would have been for my life to have been completely different -- one cosmic twist of fate and I could have been a child of Zaire, or Belize, or Haiti, expecting babies and plagues, not degrees. Could I have been? Or was my spirit earmarked for temperate climes? Or was my spirit planned at all? I sit and marvel at the beautiful potentials I've held, woven as a matter of course, and worry that I have now come dangerously close to discarding them all too easily, or worn them thin, or failed to notice their true usefulness. Why should I assume that Whatever Controls Things is any different in its planning ability? Evolution is not teleological and all that jazz. Ever read the vast majority of a lengthy novel in one many-houred sitting, and then felt that numbness inside your skull like most of your brain is dozing off for a bit and the rest is repeating itself over and over again like a short-circuited robot? This is one of those nights, as well. It's not helping. It's a good book though -- The Poisonwood Bible -- go read it if you haven't. Having nothing original or insightful to offer on these tired clichées of questions, I give in. I'm going to bed. Blah. posted by susan | 12:35 AM Wednesday, June 04, 2003 Weather: Grey and overcast today. Listening to: Pocahontas Soundtrack, "Colors of the Wind" Not doing:research for Meducator article. Love and World Peace Why I watch things like the Miss Universe pageant is beyond me. As an excuse this year I'll say that I was rooting for Canada, who made it down to the final 10, but she slipped during the swimsuit competition and was eliminated and I kept watching, so I guess it's not just that. There's something disgustingly spectacular about it that keeps me riveted, like bad daytime talk shows. These pageants go out of their way to prove that they're not only interested in physical beauty by making the final competition "The Question", where the perfect-haired, perfect-teethed contestants ostensibly get the chance to prove their eloquence, depth of intelligence, and breadth of experience. In this case, final questions were made up by all the participants and by the current Miss Universe, instead of by the organizers, with the questions of the finalists and Miss Universe being used... Host: Miss Venezuela. If you could change any event in the course of history, what would it be and why? Miss Venezuela: (Perky perma-smile not wavering for an instant)I would definitely eliminate the world wars, which destroyed and dehumanized the world. We need to work together to build a loving and peaceful world. Host: Miss Dominican Republic. What is the most precious gift you have ever given someone else? Miss Dominican Republic: (tossing long hair back over shoulder)According to my grandmother, it's a letter I gave her as a child. It wasn't what I wrote that was important, it was the feeling of love behind it. Host: Miss South Africa. What is the most important thing in your life? Miss South Africa: (very earnestly)Family. Family is, and should be, the foundation for everything we do. If we could make people, even young people understand this, we may well be able to avoid many of our problems and change the world. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Vague and sanitized pageant questions, pat and insipid pageant answers, as predictable as a choreographed routine. This may well be the most important moment of these women's lives, but you'd never know it from this. THEN -- the following two questions: If you had to live the rest of your life with only one of the five senses, which would it be and why? If you could be either fire or water, which would you be and why? Japan and Serbia/Montenegro's own perma-smiles freeze solid. Their eyes widen perceptibly. There is a suffocatingly pregnant pause. Japan mumbles and giggles her way through a brief statement about how sounds touch your heart, Serbia and Montenegro bravely suffers through a painful and convoluted attempt to get out of the question entirely by asserting her humanity. But you can HEAR their brains screaming inarticulately with fear and panic, screaming "This isn't fair! I can't answer this with Love and World Peace!" Sure enough, Japan and Serbia/Montenegro are fourth and third runners up respectively, with the Misses Family Values, World Peace and Love rounding out the top three as usual. Donald Trump's holy trinity. Granted, I've had more time to think about it than they got, but I've often considered these two ideas, and this is more or less what came into my head when I heard these questions: Hearing. I need to hear, crave sound far above sight. I couldn't live my life without music, without my friends' voices, without laughter. Silence is claustrophobic, suffocating. I would die of isoloation. But I can close my eyes and listen to rain patter on the roof, and be perfectly in touch with all that's necessary. I would be the ocean, deep beyond reason, as old as the earth, profoundly calm. I woluld be a pool of drinking water, fresh and pure. I would be the force of a torrential downpour, bringing thunder and destruction and lush greenness in its wake. Water is the eternal cleanser and the one overriding necessity of life. I'd be water in a heartbeat if I could be. posted by susan | 12:19 AM Monday, June 02, 2003 Weather: very, very nice. Almost perfect. Listening to: 102.1, which happens to be playing Our Lady Peace, "Made of Steel" Not doing: an effective job search. Sigh. I am 1100, 1307, 1801, 1804, 1816, 5007, 5019, 5020, 5021, 5039, 5054, 5201, 5301, 5302, 7010, 1011, 7019 and 7021. You know you want me. Yesterday, I filled out the Federal Student Work Experience Program application (http://www2.psc-cfp.gc.ca/prodfswep/fswpappe.htm if any Canadian out there is interested), which goes into the federal government's database of student workers for this summer. The idea is, whenever a government hirer requires someone for a summer job, they go to the database, enter their requirements, and get a list of 5 names of interested and qualified students. The thing about this is that it is 100% automated. So, literally, you don't have to, or get the chance to, actually WRITE anything. But this doesn't mean there isn't a "describe your relevant skills and experience" section...instead, you choose up to 18 preassigned codes which correspond to a huge list of possible skills and experiences that the Government of Canada feels you might have. Feels strange to have my entire resume condensed to 18 numbers, but there you go. The way of the future. Now someone, PLEASE hire me. posted by susan | 12:13 PM |
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